For those amongst you who, like me, feel you are in some Alternate Reality considering the “election” of Donald Trump, perhaps there is a Silver Lining to this Nightmare. What if this is actually a contemporary version of the ancient Pagan Ritual referred to as The Feast Of Fools? I mean, why not? Nothing else seems to make any sense of this Brave New World. The Talking Heads haven’t a clue. They’re scrambling — feeling around in the dark for some semblance of their previous reality, and they’re coming up with nothing but air. Toxic, polluted air, in fact.
Maybe it really is The Feast Of Fools. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but it’s as adequate an explanation as I’ve seen or read anywhere else. If you have a better one than has already been offered, I’m all ears, but I doubt you can top this.
Considering that, what is The Feast Of Fools? As I mentioned above, it’s an ancient Pagan Ritual that goes way back before the Abrahamic Religions took root & hold and usurped and transformed & muted many of these practices. In this case, it’s a shame this Pagan Ritual was diminished and neutralized altogether, because we need it now more than ever, and maybe, just maybe, because I’m an optimist afterall in case you haven’t noticed, that’s what Trump’s “election” and inauguration is all about.
Let me explain. It has to do with what ultimately became the holiday we know as Christmas and it involves the Pagan Holiday of Saturnalia and the celebration of The Winter Solstice. I’ll let the book my wife placed on the coffee table this past week explain better than I ever could. It’s entitled The Winter Solstice: The Sacred Traditions of Christmas by John Matthews.
The Kalends were not the only celebrations that earned the condemnation of the Church. In the eastern provinces of the Empire, during Saturnalia, it was customary to choose and crown a mock king, who ruled over chaos rather than the order that was such a central aspect of Roman rule. Lots were cast and the chosen person became the Saturnalicus Princeps, who assumed the role of Saturn throughout the festival. His task was to behave as foolishly as possible, insulting guests, chasing women and girls, and wearing outlandish clothing. Even the hiding of coins in puddings dates from this period, as this was one of the methods used to select the kingly fool.
The origins of this part of the Roman festival are obscure, though it may have been adopted by legionaries stationed along the Danube from an older, local tradition. If this is the case, it may be that the King Fool originated from a time when, in much of the ancient world, kings reigned for a year and were then ritually slaughtered to ensure good fortune for the coming year. In Scotland during this time barley bannock cakes were baked and one deliberately burned. These were passed around in a bag, and the person who chose the black bannock was designated as the Fool. At one time this may have decided his fate as the Year King marked for sacrifice, his death ensuring the return of light and fertility to the world.
Seriously, I think this is The Feast Of Fools. Trump is certainly a Fool and he’s now King. He’s the King Fool. Let’s look at the criteria and see if Trump fits the bill.
1.) His task was to behave as foolishly as possible. I think this goes without saying. Trump is doing exactly this.
2.) Insult Guests. Yeah, Trump earns perfect marks for this as well. He not only insults guests, he insults everyone with the exception of his Man Crush, Vladimir Putin.
3.) Chase women & girls. What do you think? I say The Donald earns not only a perfect grade, but extra credit as well. Grab That Pussy!!!
4.) Wear outlandish clothing. Considering his bizarre facial expressions and oddly animated body language coupled with his silly Make America Great Again ball cap atop the orange indeterminable mammal that is his hair, I’d say he earns yet another perfect score for this characteristic.
The Silver Lining if this is The Feast Of Fools, and I think it is because I have no idea what else it could be at this point, is that the King Fool is slaughtered after his one year reign thus ensuring the return of light and fertility to our increasingly denuded world. What a great ritual, don’t you think? What were they thinking putting an end to such a logical practice? I mean it.
Do you feel better now? I knew you would. It’s a time for celebration, not lamentation. I’m happy I could make your day.