Hey Hey Hey!!!


I have this bizarre notion or recollection that Donald Trump grabbed my pussy on an airplane and the weird thing is, I don’t even have a pussy. THANK GOD!!! Because I was about to call The New York Times to see if they were interested in reporting about my notion/recollection.  Considering Carlos Slim’s Tabloid Trash Rag lately, it probably would still run with the story despite my male appendage and beard. All the Tabloid Trash that’s fit to print. What a great tagline. Iconic. Enduring. Indefatigable. Pathetic.

This Fat-Ass Greasy Pimp Has A Sizable Stake In The New York Times
I Grabbed Her Fucking Pussy, Man!!!

It’s a liability to have a pussy these days with all these lewd & lascivious men lurking about waiting to grab it and grope it and rape it. And what’s worse, such men are rewarded for such despicable behavior and encouraged to run for the highest office in the land, the President of the United States (POTUS). In fact, it appears, these days at least and maybe it always has been, it’s a mandatory requirement for those who aspire to be POTUS. If the candidate running for POTUS is a male, it’s advisable he be able to grab pussy as proficiently as Mad Men‘s Don Draper and if it’s a female, like Hillary Rotten Clinton, it’s advisable the First Rapist First Man (it’s so surreal typing that designation, but I suppose we better get accustomed to it because it’s inevitable) not only know how to grab pussy proficiently, but he must also be a Ravaging Rapist. In America, this is what we call Progress, in case you weren’t aware.


Considering that, I think Bill Cosby should run for POTUS in 2020 or 2024. In fact, I’m surprised Hillary didn’t choose Cosby as her Raping Running Mate. She could have killed two birds with one stone by placating her Black constituents by having a person of “color” on The Ticket and having an extra Rapist around so her Hubby, Bubba, doesn’t feel left out & lonely. What a sight that would be, Bill & Bill chasing & raping Tail all over The White House as Hillary, from her hospital bed on oxygen taking chemo treatments, dukes it out with Putin & Lavrov. The parties would be WILD while The Cat’s Away. Can you imagine? I know I can. Epstein would be in charge of the guest list, so you can be sure there would be plenty of fresh, young, nubile (I’d say eager but it doesn’t matter to these fellas whether they’re eager or underage, wait, scratch that, it’s preferable they’re underage but eager is irrelevant & unnecessary) thirteen & fourteen year old virgins present and plenty of Quaaludes, Cigars and Pudding Pops for all. Oh, and of course, Jello Wrestling in Cosby’s favorite, Lemon-Lime. Just the thought of it makes me Proud To Be An American. How about you? Doesn’t it make you Beam With Pride? I bet it does.

Forget about Climate Change & The National Debt & The Islamic State & Nuclear War with Russia — they’re trivial distractions. What matters is, we only have one life to live so we might as well live it to the fullest since we’re all going to die eventually anyway. Right? At least I think that’s the message as conveyed by Anderson Cooper and Chris Cuomo & Erin Burnett & Bill O’Reilly & The Five & Chris Matthews & So On & So On. If not, they’ve failed to convey their intent if it isn’t to turn Presidential Politics into a Carnival. I concur that Presidential Elections have been historically boring events for those of us who aren’t Insiders, but this is not the answer. I’d rather it be boring again. In fact, it’s gotten so odious, I’m actually pining for George W. Bush to make a comeback. He’s suddenly Presidential compared to these two Freaks the Elite have offered up to “lead’ our Crumbling Country. Thanks, you Fucking Bastards. What a bunch of insane, psychopathic sadists The Elite are — it’s a sick fucking joke. This is As Good As It Gets? Hog Jowl & Chitlins are gourmet compared to Trump & Clinton. The Elite, by offering up these two Crooked Clowns, are essentially pissing and shitting on us. To them, we deserve nothing more. We’re nothing but a bunch of ingrates.


And don’t think the rest of the world isn’t laughing or looking on in abject fear & loathing at the insane spectacle. Yes, it’s true. America has several thousand nukes ready to launch that can incinerate the planet and it’s INSANE. And yet, they’re still clamoring to get here to live The American Dream that’s become a Nightmare. So their kids can fatten up and contract diabetes and be the next victim of a Mass Shooting or go to prison or join the military and, most importantly, vote for more insanity. When does it end? Does it end? Or does it get even worse and more INSANE? I think it’s the latter. One positive is, I’ll never run out of material to write about, but I can’t promise my head won’t explode. Every day is more audaciously ridiculous than the next. It’s like a Giant Growing Bubble of Insanity and we all know what happens to bubbles. KABOOM!!! If so, please let me go quickly and you too if that’s your wish.

Here’s a little levity to end this on a light note.

So true, Lavrov, so true. And The Donald is one of them. I wonder if Lavrov likes to grab pussy? Nah, he likes to beat (not eat — eating pussy is for REAL lovers) pussy, not grab it. In Russia, where they put vodka on their cereal rather than milk, grabbing pussy is for pussies.

You can’t write this shit — it writes itself. All I can do is present it as The Master of Ceremonies.